Orgasm
Illustration by: Yoosh Lee
Definition
Sudden and a very pleasurable release of sexual excitement built up by powerful, rhythmic muscle contractions.
Facts
Both male and female genitals have erectile tissue. When you are aroused, blood flows into this tissue but not out and all that blood filling your erectile tissue creates tension that builds up to a very high point. An orgasm is when powerful, rhythmic muscle contractions release that tension.
Males
Orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation, i.e. release of semen.
Its followed by a refractory period - a recovery phase when a male cannot have another orgasm.
The average amount of time from putting their penis inside a vagina to orgasm is anywhere from 2 - 6 minutes.
*Real life sex is not porn, you DO NOT have a problem if you cant “last” for an hour.
Females
70–80% of females require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Vaginal sex is usually not enough.
Females do not have a refractory period, i.e. they can have multiple orgasms.
It takes anywhere from 10 – 45 minutes of stimulation to orgasm, with the average being about 20 minutes.
Not everyone orgasms. Some 10 to 15 percent of females experience anorgasmia, or the inability to come.
Female orgasms usually involve a buildup of tension (heightened breath and heart rate, pulsing in your genital region) that reaches a peak, followed by a sense of release and pleasurable sensations.
Clitoral orgasms are often felt on the surface of the body, like a tingly feeling along your skin and in your brain.
Vaginal orgasms are deeper in the body and can be felt by the person penetrating the vagina because the vaginal walls will pulse.
Myths Busted
Vaginal sex is not the best way for females to reach orgasm. As said above, clitoral stimulation is important.
Some females ejaculate as well, although estimates of just how many vary widely.
Orgasms are not a purely physical phenomena. There's a huge mental component to orgasms.
Masturbation does not mess up your chances of coming during partnered sex. In fact, touching yourself and exploring your body is the best way to learn what sort of stimulation gets you off.
FAQ
“I am a girl and I don’t know how to make myself climax. I don’t seem to know how to enjoy sex and most of the time I fake it.”
Just because you have never experienced an orgasm doesn’t mean you are not able to reach one. Let us detail our answer, as this is a very popular and important question.
Not climaxing through penetration is very common. But since we experience massive pressure to orgasm from it, a lot of women fake it. Our most erogenous organ is the clitoris. Part of it can be stimulated through the vagina wall, but the vagina is less sensitive. So, it is anatomically understandable that penetration is not the most efficient way to reach climax.
Second, being too focused on reaching an orgasm, even when using external stimulation on the clitoris glans, is likely to make the orgasm go away.
Sex is about pleasure, and intimacy when with a partner, not about having an orgasm. You can explore yourself first, if you feel less pressure than when you are with a partner. You can make it a game to stimulate yourself, or each other with your partner, with the objective to NOT orgasm. Just to focus on what feels nice, good, super good… Don’t be genital focused, our whole body holds pleasure spots that are worth exploring.
Finding one’s way to pleasure is a very personal journey. The most reliable way to find out is through masturbation. Understand your own anatomy better, so that you can explore how your body best responds to stimulation. Once you get a better idea, you can teach your partner the specific details on how to make you orgasm!
“If my partner does not ejaculate in me (he wears a condom), is it still necessary for me to pee after having sex to prevent getting a UTI?”
The primary reason why ladies should pee after sex is to expel bacteria that may enter the urinary tract, through the urethra, to the bladder, resulting in a UTI.
If your partner wears a condom, it is less likely that bacteria will be introduced to your urinary tract. But peeing after sex never hurts anyone!
References
Medically fact-checked by:
Dr Prem Kumar
MBBS (Singapore); Graduate Diploma Occupational Medicine (Singapore); Member, Academy for Mens' Health
Anchor GP, My Doctor @ Admiralty, 12 years of clinical experience with special interest in primary care
